Fantasy & Kink is the third session in the Better Sex Workshop Series- informal, inclusive & non-judgemental sex ed workshops for adults involving facilitated group discussions, activities & games designed to challenge ideas, prompt curiosity, inspire reflection & generate discussion about sex & relationships. 

WORKSHOP 3: Fantasy & Kink

Most of us have fantasies & desires that don’t align with our politics & values in ways that can feel confusing, shameful & scary. We get taught that there are certain things that are unacceptable to desire (let alone do), even in the privacy of our own imaginations. 

This workshop is an opportunity to challenge the stigma often attached to practises labelled kinky, taboo or fetishistic & non-judgmentally explore what fantasies might ‘mean’, & how to engage with the intense, intimate, emancipatory potential of exploring kink sexuality with authenticity, safety and curiosity.

*suitable for everyone, whether or not they identify as ‘kinky’. No knowledge / experience with terminology / practices of kink community will be assumed

This workshop is for you if:

• Your fantasies and politics don't feel like natural bedfellows-  you feel uncomfortable / confused / ashamed / closeted / disgusted / curious / isolated / scared by the stuff that gets you off and where that stuff fits with your values & identity 
• You want to learn more about what kink actually is, why people have kinky sex and how they do so safely & pleasurably 
• You are curious about kink / BDSM and don't know where to start. Perhaps you've explored certain avenues and they felt intimidating / overwhelming/ unappealing and you now feel stuck 
• You want to bring your fantasies out of your head/porn/erotica and into IRL situations and don't know how
• You want to discuss erotic fantsies, sexual taboos and kinky sexuality in a space facilitated with sex-positivity & non-judgment 
• You feel the effect of existing in a world where consensual sexual practises are routinely stigmatised, shamed & pathologised, and you want to partake in a space where kink-shaming ideologies get unpacked & challenged 

* whilst they are warmly welcomed to, there is no expectation that participants will disclose anything about their own sexual preferences at any point. Participants will be able to engage fully in all aspects of the workshop without discussing their own sexualities * 
 

• For most people, it can feel intimidating/exposing to attend something like this- that’s normal! Kudos for even considering leaving your comfort zone! Feel free to reach out in advance with any questions/concerns

We will- 

- engage in discussions, activities and personal reflection 

- myth-bust common misconceptions about sexual norms, anatomy, arousal, desire and pleasure 

- cultivate an atmosphere that is open-minded, kind and respectful to a variety of perspectives, sexual proclivities and ideas

- have a chill zone available throughout the workshop where anyone is welcome to retreat to if they feel uncomfortable/ overwhelmed / triggered 

- have a No Questions Asked policy for anyone who leaves the workshop at any point

We won’t-

- do any sexual activity of any kind  (!)

- be asked or expected to share any personal information about our own sexual experiences / desires 

- assume any knowledge prior to the workshop

- expect anyone to be familiar with any specific terminology 

I look forward to welcoming you into this inclusive, sex-positive and non-judgemental workshop to explore erotic fantasy and kink sexualities. All identities welcome to this fun, interactive and trauma- informed space, facilitated by an experienced sex and relationships educator. 

What does it mean to be kinky? Why do people engage in kink? What do our fantasies mean? Can fantasies be harmful? Who decides what’s kinky, vanilla, fetishistic or dysfunctional & why? What constitutes power in an intimate space?What’s the difference between sexual violence & consensually violent sex? What do all the acronyms mean?! 

Wanting some more info? 

Check out testimonies from previous participants,  FAQs or get in touch here with any questions/ concerns :) 

Why?

Most of us were never provided any formal sex or relationships education. Instead we’ve done our best to learn about what sex & intimacy involve from the informal sex ed available; the internet, TV, films, porn, family, friends, partners, books, religious institutions, personal experience…  

Few of us have graduated from this form of sex ed sexually & emotionally satisfied. Collectively, we far too often experience sex that’s formulaic, dissatisfying, dutiful, shame-ridden & performative within relationships that too frequently feel mis-attuned. Most of us are left hurt & frustrated, without much idea how to cultivate the intimate lives we want. 

I've spent the last 12 years learning about sex & relationships. I developed these workshops as a way to share the most transformative bits of this learning to support others to navigate the complicated landscape of their sex lives and intimate relationships with greater self-awareness, insight, perspective and some solid strategies to maximise pleasure, intimacy and authenticity.

A note on Ticket types

Tickets are priced on a sliding scale, from £0-£45 (full price) with an additional option to subsidise low/no cost access  by buying a ‘pay it forward’ ticket. 

The full price ticket is significantly cheaper than similar training available, reflective of my own subsidy (offered from my position as someone who’s benefited from unearned resources & cultural capital myself) as well as my commitment to making these workshops accessible to everyone.

Please choose the ticket type that most accurately reflects your position & experience (you may not identify with every point- that’s OK!- go for whichever feels the most relatable). 

I’m committed to ensuring the learning, healing, insight & great vibes these workshops generate remains accessible & inclusive, regardless of financial position. Therefore I try not to limit the number of low/no cost places. 

This system is only sustainable insofar as everyone truly does opt for the ticket type that genuinely reflects their financial position.  I trust you to choose honestly & am grateful for your support in making this accessibility workable.